A Tribute to Trashed Pastors

Today I want to take a moment and remember those who have been crushed under the load of institutional "pastoring"--for the most part, good, godly people who believed they were following God's calling to serve, but who unwittingly got sucked into a mechanical religious system, only to be spit out when their usefulness came to an end.

I never thought I would be in those ranks, but I am. I realize I am only one person with an extremely narrow scope of experience, but in my 20 years of actively serving God in ministry, I have personally witnessed the demise of several strong, sincere leaders as they lost their livelihood, dignity, and human spirit, in their effort to "pastor" a local church. If you haven't been through this yourself, I suspect you may know someone who has.

I use the word "pastor" in quotes, because I am referring to the modern-day definition of pastoring, not the biblical one. The modern-day pastor is not "pastoring" in the New Testament sense as much as being the head of a religious organization. These kinds of "pastors" are expected to be in equal parts a leader, a teacher, a counselor, a strategist, a family person, a business manager, an orator, a fundraiser, fun-loving, social, morally impeccable, and of course Christ-like.

A pastor who is paid to take on this ridiculous level of responsibility is constantly evaluated by their performance in every one of these areas. Their career, and the their income, depends on it. They are expected to not only understand the political and relational minefield contained in their local church body, but also to maneuver it with skill, confidence, and poise. Admitting the inability to keep up will be fatal to their career.

The pastor's family must be in a constant state of approval by the church's money people, elders, and other key position holders and influencers. A pastor might be walking the tightrope of his/her job description adequately, only to have an errant spouse or child throw everything out of balance. Some pastors find this environment revolting, while others thrive on it, like a celebrity thrives on an audience. No one goes unaffected, however. This environment corrupts even the most sincere.

One of the pastors I knew lost his spirit and his position after a daughter became pregnant out of wedlock. The next one fell to an online relationship resulting in adultery. Another was humiliated, along with his wife and small children, in front of the church, because they didn't measure up to the expectations of the various boards and committees. The most successful of the ones I knew valiantly fought the "old guard" for over a decade, and helped a church grow, only to ultimately succumb to burnout, career loss, and bankruptcy.

One of the ways that churches suck is how they suck the life out of its leaders.

For me, it was stubbornly believing that an institutional church could function organically--for believing that people should serve through giftedness, not position. My insistence was more than this system could tolerate, and I was also "thrown under the bus" in a wave of political maneuvers. My own experience of getting trashed by the church came after twenty years of pursuing ministry; when I was a young adult, I abandoned my previous career, believing I was giving myself to the most noble of professions. I was deceived, and now I have a lot of catching up to do.

Someone outside of the situation might reasonably ask: Weren't these leaders at fault? Don't they take some responsibility for their own results? Of course they do. I'm sure they are reminded of this daily, through regret and guilt. I know I am.

Sinners or saints, martyrs, well-meaning fools, or self-centered egotists, whatever you want to call them, they all lie on a huge, invisible scrapheap. They may find new work, they may manage to rebuild a life, they may even continue on and take on another pastoring role; but the fact remains that they have been sucked in and spit out by the church machine.

THE Church described in the Bible is not without its problems and faults, even under the purest of circumstances. But this religious-political entity we call "church" today has an even deeper challenge: It is not a community at all. It is a religious business above all, and it is stealing, killing, and destroying the most sincere, the most generous, and the most sacrificial people in its ranks--those who would dare take on the role of "pastor."

I know there's a time to move beyond this, think positively, embrace God's grace, release the pain of the past, and experience the best of the life God has planned for us. I know there is no real value in dwelling on this level of personal carnage. So if this is too heavy or too negative for you, I apologize.

Still, I think this is a story that needs to be told.

Do you have a story?